Full Disclosure
Oct. 17th, 2005 10:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Yes, I'm back. No, I'm not seeing any more visitors right now. I don't need anyone telling me everything's going to be okay. I don't much feel like making jokes.
In the interest of full disclosure, and to probably quiet a lot of the rumors going around, what Dr. MacTaggart said is true. Yes, I built a machine that took away my mutant powers. Magneto wanted to use it as a weapon. I built it to work once, then blow up, and it did. As usual, I didn't document anything, so there's no worries about the Brotherhood running around with it. And if anyone thinks I'm still harboring some sort of Stockholm Syndrome or that I did it all willingly - I've already convinced the Professor when he came down to talk to me, I don't need to convince any of you.
Jay says I should stick around, despite now being basically just the token normal. And I'm sure a lot of you are going to say the same, that I'm your friend, that I deserve a place to be happy here. But not a lot of you know why I'm here - and it's time for that secret to stop.
Back in school, all the way since I started going, I was the small kid and the smart kid. And in any social group, those are the first two differences that become evident. And in any social group, people like to cast out those that are different. Sometimes it's through exclusion and social pressure, and some times it's just plain violent. Lucky me, I got the full package.
High school wasn't any different. Wasn't acknowledged as anything, unless it was to be pushed around to make other people feel better about themselves. It was my place in the system, apparently. My parents - well, at the time, I didn't think to talk to them about it, because they wouldn't understand. They didn't ask how I was getting along, I didn't bother to tell them.
Finally, I got sick of it. I got sick of being invisible, sick of being pushed around, and sick of being ignored. This is the part in the story where the mutant powers kick in full speed.
So I made a bomb, plain and simple. I brought it to school, and I put it in my locker. And something happened and it went off early. You wonder why I carry around sixty-plus pounds of metal and a matching set of scars? Because I tried to blow up my school. [link: South Dallas Tribune, September 2002]
Go ahead. Read the news about it. Gas main explosion, they said. But the truth is, I did it myself. No one else hurt but me, but that wasn't the intent. And as I'm seeing argued around the journal system here, intent seems to count for a lot.
So, through chance or fate or whatnot - I'm here instead of dead or in jail. Trying to make up for what I almost did. Trying to do the right thing. I can say that being here has helped teach me that.
But if I don't belong - then I don't belong. Whether it's because I don't have my powers anymore, or because of the things I did, or because some of you probably still think I'm going to turn around and start marching to the beat of Magneto's drum; it doesn't matter.
But like I said, now you know. Make your own decisions.
JHF
In the interest of full disclosure, and to probably quiet a lot of the rumors going around, what Dr. MacTaggart said is true. Yes, I built a machine that took away my mutant powers. Magneto wanted to use it as a weapon. I built it to work once, then blow up, and it did. As usual, I didn't document anything, so there's no worries about the Brotherhood running around with it. And if anyone thinks I'm still harboring some sort of Stockholm Syndrome or that I did it all willingly - I've already convinced the Professor when he came down to talk to me, I don't need to convince any of you.
Jay says I should stick around, despite now being basically just the token normal. And I'm sure a lot of you are going to say the same, that I'm your friend, that I deserve a place to be happy here. But not a lot of you know why I'm here - and it's time for that secret to stop.
Back in school, all the way since I started going, I was the small kid and the smart kid. And in any social group, those are the first two differences that become evident. And in any social group, people like to cast out those that are different. Sometimes it's through exclusion and social pressure, and some times it's just plain violent. Lucky me, I got the full package.
High school wasn't any different. Wasn't acknowledged as anything, unless it was to be pushed around to make other people feel better about themselves. It was my place in the system, apparently. My parents - well, at the time, I didn't think to talk to them about it, because they wouldn't understand. They didn't ask how I was getting along, I didn't bother to tell them.
Finally, I got sick of it. I got sick of being invisible, sick of being pushed around, and sick of being ignored. This is the part in the story where the mutant powers kick in full speed.
So I made a bomb, plain and simple. I brought it to school, and I put it in my locker. And something happened and it went off early. You wonder why I carry around sixty-plus pounds of metal and a matching set of scars? Because I tried to blow up my school. [link: South Dallas Tribune, September 2002]
Go ahead. Read the news about it. Gas main explosion, they said. But the truth is, I did it myself. No one else hurt but me, but that wasn't the intent. And as I'm seeing argued around the journal system here, intent seems to count for a lot.
So, through chance or fate or whatnot - I'm here instead of dead or in jail. Trying to make up for what I almost did. Trying to do the right thing. I can say that being here has helped teach me that.
But if I don't belong - then I don't belong. Whether it's because I don't have my powers anymore, or because of the things I did, or because some of you probably still think I'm going to turn around and start marching to the beat of Magneto's drum; it doesn't matter.
But like I said, now you know. Make your own decisions.
JHF
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 12:45 pm (UTC)The issue, though, is why you agreed to house and give a clean slate to a Columbine knock-off. Or why, for that matter, this school continuously offers thieves, terrorists, and murderers multiple chances for redemption. I understand that the nature of American mutantcy is one of perpetual danger and constant vigilance, and you will not find me claiming that the X-Men should not be based out of this school. But I do often wonder what the thought process is in admitting new students and staff despite their histories.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 12:51 pm (UTC)Knock on the door, take the cup of tea, and broach the issue with him. He can explain the philosophy of the school and his reasoning on individual cases far, far better than I can.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:36 pm (UTC)Drop the attitude.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 01:08 pm (UTC)because, Shiro, this place is about second chances. and sometimes, third and fourths.
because people here believe in the inherent goodness of other people and that they can change. because they believe that people, when given a chance, can accomplish great things. because someone has to stand up for what is morally right when no one else will, especially when it is the unpopular choice. because America allows for unpopular opinions, no matter how much we sometimes wish otherwise.
because.
and that's enough.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 01:25 pm (UTC)Shiro, you are one of the recipients of that second chance. Would you leave then, to not be a hypocrite?
Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Too many of us believe in redeption and forgiveness not to give people a second chance when they are honestly regretful of their actions.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 01:57 pm (UTC)If I were, then yes, I should be in prison. That's the law. We are taught to respect the law because we are not above it. And the law doesn't recognize regret as far as guilt goes. If you murder, then you commited a crime and you got to jail. If you're sorry, then maybe you will not be executed. It's only when the law fails that criminals don't serve their sentences.
And don't quote your bible nonsense at me. Jesus was an idiot.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:06 pm (UTC)Perhaps "Conspiracy to commit kidnapping" is more accurate.
I will quote whatever I like, whenever I like, Shiro. Or else, my request to have you stop spouting nationalistic nonsense would carry as much weight.
It is more true than anything you could say - even if you do not believe in One God, forgiving others so that you can be forgiven by others still applies. Treat others as you would be treated.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:14 pm (UTC)I do treat others as I would wanted myself to be treated. I am honest with them, as I wish people to be honest with me. And they are, sometimes.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:26 pm (UTC)Ah, then you'll be turning yourself in to whatver proper authorites would cover the jusirdiction we live in? I am not sure which those would be, but I imagine someone could tell you.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:32 pm (UTC)I will stop by the precinct after classes, as long as you join me and admit to committing murder, given that you view Skippy's dupes as autonomous individuals.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:37 pm (UTC)We estabished this already.
The different, Shiro, is that I did not break any laws. My personal guilt is my own about Jamie's twin, and he did not exist as a person legally - I cannot claim to have killed James Arthur Madrox, as he is alive and whole. Skippy Madrox did not exist legally, and the precinct would laugh at me.
I already spoke to my priest about this after the event happened.
Besides, if you were truly invested in what you believe to be the law, you would do it without needing my help. One does not follow the law because others do, but because it is right.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 01:32 pm (UTC)Anyone remember the year or so of shit I gave Espinosa for being a good-for-nothing greaser gangbanger? And look where he is now. All respectable with a job and a tie and everything. If he'd been turned away from here, where do you think he'd be?
Look at Amanda. Yeah, the 'taking in strays' philosophy's bit us in the ass on that one - but imagine the damage she'd be doing elsewhere without this place to keep her in check.
If anyone ain't comfortable with this place being the halfway house for the black sheep of the mutant world, it's me. But we've got to suck it up, because by and large, it's for the best.
With regards to our little mad bomber - try this scenario. He sits in jail. Then Magneto picks him up ANYWAY, and he's got a mad on against society in general. Instead of risking his neck to get out of there, he cooperates. And we're all one step closer to losing ground.
I ain't saying not to pass judgement. You got every right to. Hell, I think the little bastard's still creepy, and now he's probably a closet arsonist and psycho to boot. But here's still the best place for him.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:07 pm (UTC)The Professor says we should lead by example. I fail to see how the example we set helps mutantkind if we just pick and choose which laws to follow. Unless I have misunderstood and the rule is actually "lead by example, except when it is more beneficial to cheat and cover your tracks."
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 02:16 pm (UTC)The purpose of prisons, so they tell me, isn't punishment - it's correction. And here, the kid's getting more than enough correction.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 04:43 pm (UTC)There is no blood on my hands, and if I find out who has said anything that would make you think otherwise, then I will be having very short and painful words with them.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-18 12:31 am (UTC)I apologise for this little digression, Mr Forge.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-17 06:40 pm (UTC)