- Yes, I look older. While six weeks seem to have passed for you guys, it was closer to two and a half years for those of us on the island.

Mate, whilst a spirited sense of competition is universally acknowledged to improve the social fabric, I feel you are carrying the spirit of one-upsmanship a bit far. Let us examine the facts. I merely went to Europe. You, I am to understand, buggered yourself off onto an island nation shifted out of normal time and space. This I call excessive. Nevertheless, welcome home.

And thank you, for from your absence I have learned a valuable life-lesson. Henceforth it shall be my personal policy to assume the missing to be alive and in another dimension unless presented with physical evidence to the contrary. After having a read of the files, I feel it is the most logical conclusion.