Full Disclosure

[x_maker]

Yes, I'm back. No, I'm not seeing any more visitors right now. I don't need anyone telling me everything's going to be okay. I don't much feel like making jokes.

In the interest of full disclosure, and to probably quiet a lot of the rumors going around, what Dr. MacTaggart said is true. Yes, I built a machine that took away my mutant powers. Magneto wanted to use it as a weapon. I built it to work once, then blow up, and it did. As usual, I didn't document anything, so there's no worries about the Brotherhood running around with it. And if anyone thinks I'm still harboring some sort of Stockholm Syndrome or that I did it all willingly - I've already convinced the Professor when he came down to talk to me, I don't need to convince any of you.

Jay says I should stick around, despite now being basically just the token normal. And I'm sure a lot of you are going to say the same, that I'm your friend, that I deserve a place to be happy here. But not a lot of you know why I'm here - and it's time for that secret to stop.

Back in school, all the way since I started going, I was the small kid and the smart kid. And in any social group, those are the first two differences that become evident. And in any social group, people like to cast out those that are different. Sometimes it's through exclusion and social pressure, and some times it's just plain violent. Lucky me, I got the full package.

High school wasn't any different. Wasn't acknowledged as anything, unless it was to be pushed around to make other people feel better about themselves. It was my place in the system, apparently. My parents - well, at the time, I didn't think to talk to them about it, because they wouldn't understand. They didn't ask how I was getting along, I didn't bother to tell them.

Finally, I got sick of it. I got sick of being invisible, sick of being pushed around, and sick of being ignored. This is the part in the story where the mutant powers kick in full speed.

So I made a bomb, plain and simple. I brought it to school, and I put it in my locker. And something happened and it went off early. You wonder why I carry around sixty-plus pounds of metal and a matching set of scars? Because I tried to blow up my school. [link: South Dallas Tribune, September 2002]

Go ahead. Read the news about it. Gas main explosion, they said. But the truth is, I did it myself. No one else hurt but me, but that wasn't the intent. And as I'm seeing argued around the journal system here, intent seems to count for a lot.

So, through chance or fate or whatnot - I'm here instead of dead or in jail. Trying to make up for what I almost did. Trying to do the right thing. I can say that being here has helped teach me that.

But if I don't belong - then I don't belong. Whether it's because I don't have my powers anymore, or because of the things I did, or because some of you probably still think I'm going to turn around and start marching to the beat of Magneto's drum; it doesn't matter.

But like I said, now you know. Make your own decisions.

JHF

Comments

[x-juggernaut.livejournal.com]

Because half the time, you don't get here without going through some rough spots, Shiro. And it's not human nature to stay squeaky clean when you've been walking through a shitstorm. I'm not making excuses for anyone, but I know there's folks come from all sorts of backgrounds that've made better.

Anyone remember the year or so of shit I gave Espinosa for being a good-for-nothing greaser gangbanger? And look where he is now. All respectable with a job and a tie and everything. If he'd been turned away from here, where do you think he'd be?

Look at Amanda. Yeah, the 'taking in strays' philosophy's bit us in the ass on that one - but imagine the damage she'd be doing elsewhere without this place to keep her in check.

If anyone ain't comfortable with this place being the halfway house for the black sheep of the mutant world, it's me. But we've got to suck it up, because by and large, it's for the best.

With regards to our little mad bomber - try this scenario. He sits in jail. Then Magneto picks him up ANYWAY, and he's got a mad on against society in general. Instead of risking his neck to get out of there, he cooperates. And we're all one step closer to losing ground.

I ain't saying not to pass judgement. You got every right to. Hell, I think the little bastard's still creepy, and now he's probably a closet arsonist and psycho to boot. But here's still the best place for him.

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

I don't expect perfection. That's an impossible goal that only a buddha can attain, and nobody here is even close to that level of holiness. But can we honestly expect to be taken seriously if we rip open loopholes in the law? I agree with Terry. Why do we get free passes when people not under the protection of the Professor or Magneto or some crime lord do not?

The Professor says we should lead by example. I fail to see how the example we set helps mutantkind if we just pick and choose which laws to follow. Unless I have misunderstood and the rule is actually "lead by example, except when it is more beneficial to cheat and cover your tracks."

[x-juggernaut.livejournal.com]

As far as I know, the only people that've been taken in here who've committed premeditated murder without extenuating circumstances... let's see, you can argue that Nate was under someone's control at the time, or that Wisdom and Lebeau and Cassidy were just doing their jobs.

The purpose of prisons, so they tell me, isn't punishment - it's correction. And here, the kid's getting more than enough correction.

[x-cassidy.livejournal.com]

Whether I'm living as a guest in your house or not, I'll thank you not to call me a killer, or lump me in with scum like those pair. Maybe you do things differently over here, but where I'm from, the job of a police officer is to make sure *no-one* dies.

There is no blood on my hands, and if I find out who has said anything that would make you think otherwise, then I will be having very short and painful words with them.

[x-siryn.livejournal.com]

You weren't there when my mother died. That's blood, right enough.

[x-cassidy.livejournal.com]

I've done wrong by you and your mother in enough ways not to need to add other people's crimes to the list of things I'll feel guilty for. Regardless, on these journals when your classmate is trying to confess his sins is neither the place nor the time to talk about it.

I apologise for this little digression, Mr Forge.

[x-juggernaut.livejournal.com]

Sorry about that, Irish. I just assumed, supercop and all.